A Crushing Look Back

If you run a website it’s almost a law that, when January rolls around, you have to churn out some flavor of Year In Review/Best Of/Worst Of/bleary-eyed retrospective. Or several.

Not being one to tempt the wrath of the web gods, I submit my contribution. It’s shallow, it’s useless, it’s a waste of my time & energy, it’s….

Celebrity Crush Watch 2007!

There were a lot of shakeups on the CelebCrush playing field this year. We saw dramatic changes in fortune, stunning debuts, and old favorites going strong. We learned some hard lessons, and I think we all grew as individuals. *sniff* And now let’s go to the analysis. (Click picture above for full graph-o-matic!)

Things were stable early in 2007, but changes started to happen during summer blockbuster time and by the fall movie season the board had been shuffled. May saw the beginning of the end for Johnny Depp as POC3 hit the screens and his face was everywhere! On cereal boxes, on toys, on pillowcases, on the shirts of every pathetic little 13 yr. old Hot Topic shopping wanna-be Goth girl, it just got to be too much. Just as I’d begun to recover from that, along came Sweeny Todd in Dec. More Gothy-Depp, more eyeliner, more Hot Topic shirts…*sigh* It seems so wrong to say this but….but….I am SICK of Johnny Depp! I need some space.

But the year’s biggest turnabout was Clive Owen. He started 2007 off strong, and was on an upswing as I looked forward to Elizabeth: The Golden Age. But then I looked more closely and noticed that Golden Age actually looked pretty sucky…and Clive in Renaissance garb began to shift from “hot” to “cheesy” in mine eyes. I skipped Golden Age completely, reevaluated my CelebCrush on Clive, and in the end decided that I just couldn’t go on living a lie. The last step in the Un-Crushing came when I rented Shoot ‘Em Up. SO awful that it uncrushed Clive for me forever.

MVP’s of 2007: As you can tell from the graph, Russell Crowe owned 2007 because in 3:10 to Yuma he “brought sexy back.” He followed right up with a great job in American Gangster, and now 3:10 is out on DVD and Rusty shows no signs of slowing down. As the corollary to my UnCrushing of Clive, 2007 was the year that I finally had to admit the truth I’ve been avoiding for years; I am Russell Crowe’s bitch.

Fall also brought a great rookie player to our attention. In No Country for Old Men, Josh Brolin came literally from nowhere and rushed straight up the charts! A stunning play, but 2008 will reveal whether he has any staying power.

07 Trends: It’s amazing how a good or bad project can affect a Celeb’s crush score. Besides Clive, the fabulous JRM took a dip this year when I began watching The Tudors. Never has an actor been so woefully miscast. (A bunch of red carpet photos where he looked coked out of his mind, and a drunken airport brawl didn’t help his cause either.) Heath Ledger’s score is all over the charts, mainly because I’m torn between a genuine like for the boy and disgust that he always looks like shit all the time. But each time a new ad or poster or trailer of Heath as The Joker hits the net, the crushing spikes! David Beckham came and went, and the cast of Robin of Sherwood had a comeback.

The new year begins with Sean Bean still the high scorer, but taking a slight dip because of 1. lack of exposure and 2. rumours of yet another marriage to another 20ish year old girl. What will 2008 hold in store? Will Rusty continue to challenge SeanBaby? Is Heath Ledger the wild card? Will I ever learn to appreciate Christian Bale? We’ll keep you posted on all the latest facts! Stay tuned!

3 Responses to “A Crushing Look Back”

  1. chel Says:

    Where’s Hetfield, huh???

  2. Marci Says:

    *swoops up Johnny Depp*

    “Now that’s a real shame when folks be throwin’ away a perfectly good white boy like that.”

  3. LOUP Says:

    I have a thing for Mr. Brolin now too. Am pleased that NCFOM is getting so much attention too — because we know that TLJ is the shit if ever there was.

    = )

    ah Heath … he will always be that hot quiet cowboy. = (

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