Don’t Even Bother

Maybe there’s a rule: for every good product, there is an equal and opposite bad product? I think that’s the case at Starbucks. You remember how I gave thanks and praised the Sugar-Free Gingerbread syrup back during the holiday season. Guilt-free crack in a cup, it is!!

But now comes Gingerbread’s evil long-lost brother, who no one even knew existed because HIS father was actually the town’s mysterious criminal overlord, and he was stolen away as a baby and raised in secrecy at strict military boarding school in a small Eastern European principality.

I’m talking about Sugar-Free Mocha. That shit is evil. Evil, evil, nasty, AND all kindsa unnatural.

I admit, I was very intrigued by the possibility of Mocha Without Guilt…if it had worked, it would have been deserving of a Nobel prize. But alas, mankind hasn’t advanced far enough yet to be able to make chocolate syrup without sugar in it. I was just surprised by how very disgusting it tasted; I think I was just expecting it to taste weak, like cheap chocolate milk. Instead it was assertively awful..kinda plasticy, kinda chemically.. just stay away!

*sigh* It was a nice thought, Starbucks. I appreciate that you tried. But there are some things that are just tampering in Gawd’s Domain…trying to tamper with the formula for chocolate is one of them.

2 Responses to “Don’t Even Bother”

  1. chel Says:

    Hmmmm… Does Starbucks use their own syrups or do they use DaVinci ones? After having an incredible orange-vanilla-etc smoothie thingee at Border’s I got obsessed with DaVinci syrups (they have regular and sugar free) and ordered a slew. I wonder if Starbucks has a bunch of syrups you could get in your coffee. I know they have, like, 50 sugar free flavors from DaVinci.

  2. Marci Says:

    I was fortunate enough to have a barista intervene in my ordering of this abomination. He poured a little bit of the syrup into a cup for me to smell – yuck!

    You may as well make a NyQuil latte.

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