And So It Begins

My neighbor decided to mow his lawn for the first time this season. He’s outside mowing as I type. Now, in the Crack household, mowing the lawn is a complicated ritual with multiple facets.

First he gets out the mower and tries a few times before it will start. Meanwhile his dog doesn’t like the mower, so she starts barking her head off. Eventually, the mower will start and Crack Monkey will let out a blood-curdling shriek of delight. Crack Monkey will then proceed to grab his toy lawn mower and follow his Chain Smoking Dad around, screaming like an amputee and pretending to mow.

All the time this is going on, the dog keeps barking. She doesn’t stop until the mower gets shut off. So we’ve got mower engine noise, barking, and Crack Monkey’s demonic wails all going at once. A little symphony of horrors.

Did I mention my neighbor is really into mowing his lawn, and once the growing season really kicks in, he does it maybe twice per week?

Welcome to summer hell.

One Response to “And So It Begins”

  1. whistler Says:

    Send Crack Monkey to my house… I’ll bury him in the huge pile of mulch… That’ll shut him up!

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