Well, Whaddaya Know…

Finally, a use for tea!

I make no secret of the fact that I really hate tea. I don’t know why I do, E knows I’ve tried to like it. All of my friends love tea, and I feel like such a pariah amongst them. And I know it’s good for me, it’s caffeine-free, loaded with antioxidants, blah blah. But no matter how many flavors or upscale brands I try, to me it all just tastes like Tincture of Lawn Clippings at best or weak, runny piss at worst. (Not even strong, flavorful piss, mind you. Weak, runny piss!) Maybe it’s genetic; I come from a long line of coffee whores.

But anyway, some time ago (I forget where, perhaps in the newspaper) I saw an article that recommended using tea to clean hardwood floors, and that it was a very common thing to do back in the 1700s. Something about the tannic acid in tea was supposed to result in super-shiny floors. SO, since I have tons of tea in my house (honestly, I have NO IDEA where it all came from) that I have zero intention of ever drinking, I decided to give it a try.

And lo and behold if it didn’t work! Proving once again that there is always truth in old wives’ tales.

Here’s what to do: Brew a quart of strong tea. (I used 4 teabags per quart. Obviously, double the recipe if you have big rooms.) You want to use good old normal black tea, no green or chai or white or any of that Buddhist hippie shit. (Though I think it might be fun to use a peppermint-flavored black tea, so you could have an aromatheraputic cleaning experience.) Let it steep for a long time, until tea has cooled enough to be handle-able, but still warm. Dunk your washrag or mop in there and start scrubbing!

I really do think my floors are shinier than with ordinary floor cleaner. I could just be imagining it, but at least I got rid of some tea, and that was my goal.

One Response to “Well, Whaddaya Know…”

  1. whistler Says:

    MMMM tea…

    Spread the news.. We’re back!!!!!

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