Sometimes I Ask Myself

“Self, what the hell is wrong with you?”

I am a person who is beset by creative impulses. Not constantly, but in fits and spurts. But when they hit, they hit hard, and must be obeyed. All well and good, but, why can’t I ever want to create something…normal…?!

When ideas strike me, do they ever take the shape of a beautiful painting, a gripping novel, or some other staggering work of genius? You know, something that society considers VALID?

No.

MY creative muse is the scraggly one who sits alone in the corner and sniffs glue! Hence, MY creative output is stuff like: inane websites, plotting out histories for D&D or Vampire characters, doing stupid stuff with Photoshop, or the ultimate in lameness…Photoshopping pictures of D&D or Vampire characters! So even though I have more creative spirit than probably 2 dozen normal humans combined, I am forever condemned to Utter Loser status.

I often wonder if life wouldn’t be simpler if I could just sit still and watch TV for a hobby, like normal people. Instead, my head is always abuzz with silly work for myself to do. Why? I wish I knew.

At least I’m never bored. In moments when I’m kicking myself for not creating the latest Avant Garde movement, I try to find comfort in the words of my personal saviour, Weird Al Yankovic: “Dare to be stupid.” And in the certain knowledge that everybody probably thought that JRR Tolkien was a loser, too, holed up in his garage drawing maps of Elvenhome when he was supposed to be publishing scholarly papers. I wonder if anyone ever told him to “get a life”?

All this is a long way of saying I’m currently working on another lame Top Secret Project which will not benefit society in any way. :) I’d tell you what it is, but I’d rather maintain plausible deniability. Stay tuned and all will be revealed in time…

4 Responses to “Sometimes I Ask Myself”

  1. Bill Bradley Says:

       Sounds interesting. I’d love to see the results.
       Sometimes you do get recognized, even if only amongst those with similar interests [like Photoshopping RPG characters]. Niki just got 5 of her portraits used in the Bioware Community Expansion Pack for Neverwinter Nights (http://nwn.bioware.com/players/cep.html listed as Nyx on the artists credits). They renamed her portraits to fit their naming system so we still don’t know which ones, but I think that just adds to the excitement.

  2. whistler Says:

    Wow. Bill Bradley just visited your site!! I’m impressed. I should have dressed up a bit better…

  3. InfamousCow Says:

    If it doesn’t work out just bury it in the back yard and blame the whole incident on your cat. I have..er would.

  4. LOUP Says:

    Have you seen some of the stuff society considers valid, m’dear? It ain’t pretty. = )

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