It’s a Nice Day for a Dull Wedding

This isn’t really a full-on rant; more of an emphatic gripe. It boils down to: I have to go to a wedding tomorrow, and I’m annoyed. For a number of reasons.

1. It’s Valentine’s Day. How banal is it to get married on Valentine’s Day?

2. Said wedding is in my and Boy Wonder’s home town, a place that I thoroughly despise and try to avoid by any means necessary.

3. Wedding is Catholic, which means ceremony is sandwiched in the middle of a full 1+ hour Roman Catholic mass, something I haven’t sat through for probably over 10 years and have no desire to ever experience again.

4. Wedding is being done in the “traditional” manner; i.e. ceremony in the afternoon, reception in the evening. In-between, the new couple get their pics taken. Why do people do that? It is SO inconsiderate to the guests! Like we have nothing better to do than sit around in our uncomfortable dress clothes and pantyhose twiddling our thumbs waiting for your reception to start, because you’re so egotistical you think you need THREE HOURS worth of photos of yourself!

5. And on top of that, there’s that stupid reception etiquette which dictates that no one may eat until The Couple have eaten. So the guests are already faint because the pantyhose we’ve been wearing all day are cutting off the circulation to our heads, then you have to starve us too!

6. The reception is being held at the same place in town where everybody has their receptions. Guaranteeing that the food will be the same boring food that is served at all weddings in my town.

This is the exact kind of wedding that I was forced to go to far, far too many of as a child. This is the kind of wedding that made me hate weddings. And that is what’s at the core of my annoyance. The sheer lack of imagination on display. In this day and age, with all the options available, I don’t understand why any young couple with a speck of intelligence between them would opt for one of these by-the-book weddings. It’s supposed to be a special day, put some thought into it for gawd’s sake! Listen up: The real reason people cry at weddings is because they’re bored to tears!

4 Responses to “It’s a Nice Day for a Dull Wedding”

  1. Mistress Maxi Says:

    My hubby and I got married on April Fool’s Day. A lot of our friends thought we were joking when we told ‘em we were getting hitched. I think wedding/drive time/reception took all of two hours total? If that. The entire thing cost 500 bucks, including rings. And, I went gaming later that night.

    Retrospect: wouldn’t change a freakin’ thing. Too much hassle and pressure to have the big traditional marriage thing.

  2. whistler Says:

    I felt guilty making people wait while we took some pictures at our wedding.

    I don’t remember if we waited at yours… Did we??

  3. LOUP Says:

    Hubby and I got hitched in my parents backyard. We wore regular clothes and had a lot of fun …
    simple is better.

  4. AH Says:

    Wow – didn’t know about the eating order bit. When my wife and myself married, we just dashed around all the time seeing to it that everyone had a good time, while the maid of honor stacked away food for us to wolve down when everything was set and everybody engaged in talking/dancing/etc.

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