Crack Prediction


Dear Crack Monkey,

I sit this hot afternoon, seeking shelter from the blazing sun during the second or third straight week without so much as a cloud in the sky, let alone a single drop of rain. And I listen to you begin your second hour of spraying your backyard hose at your sidewalk, your swingset, and up into the air, like you do every single afternoon. As I watch the precious natural resource puddling uselessly on the pavement amongst your non-biodegradable Godzilla toys, a deep sense of hope for your future washes over me like so much wasted tapwater:

Many years from now, as the last 50-gallon drum of drinkable water in your Residence Containment Sector is wheeled off of the truck, may you be killed and your corpse trampled into a bloody pulp under the feet of the angry mob during the coming Great Water Riots of the year 2040. This is my wish for you. A just and fitting end. And I think you will have a part in making my wish come true because after all……Children Are Our Future.

your friend,
Evil Neighbor

3 Responses to “Crack Prediction”

  1. kta Says:

    Is that the infamous crack monkey? lol – I was picturing him as some little ankle biting rugrat. How old is he?

  2. tarsier Says:

    Oh yeah, dat’s him.

    I don’t know how old he is, I just know that it’s TOO old to act the way he does. I think he’s in 2nd grade, but he acts like a Special Needs pre-schooler. :P

  3. whistler Says:

    Hello Crack Money, we meet again. I think you need to keep it up with the photo expose of him and all the stupid things he gets himself into.

    Too bad you couldn’t get an audio recording of him screaming.

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