A Pox on Both Their Houses

You know what?  Screw The Avengers.

At first I was simply indifferent;  I have of late lost my capacity to be entertained by comic book movies.  I’m done with them. D-O-N-E.  And I have nothing but apathy for every Marvel character with the exception of some X-Men.  So I just didn’t care.  BW saw it without me.

But godDAMN, go the hell away!  I cannot turn my head either in real life or on the internet without being assaulted on all sides by Avengers images, news, and references.  But that is not even why I came here to rant.

I’m here because Avengers made $55 million bucks on its third weekend, bringing its total to $457 fucking million dollars as of this writing.

Do you know what that MEANS?  America is fucked in the head?  Yes, but apart from that it means that the world will NEVER be rid of Chris Goddamned Hemsworth now!  NEVER!  Because casting directors are dumb as bricks.  (“Hey, that big blond guy’s movie made a billion trillion dollars, therefore any movie he’s in will make a billion trillion dollars!”)  And when they can’t get him, they’ll get one of the other Bland Chrisses because who the fuck can tell them apart anyway?

The Reign of Terror…no, “terror” is too strong an emotion to use in relation to those bland bitches….The Bland Chrisses’ Monarchy of Meh will go on and on and Hemsworth and the other ones will be blighting our screens for probably the next ten years.

If that wasn’t bad enough, it also means the movie universe will never be rid of  Scarlett Johansson, either.  She’s officially entered the Cameron Diaz phase of her career.  You know how that goes, right?  ScarJo, having lucked into an endless franchise that essentially gives her a license to mint money, will now be around for eternity, cranking out shit film after shit film, going to parties, posing for the paps, partially forgotten yet always scurrying around the edges of the movie industry, like an especially vapid, mouth-breathing cockroach.

That’s what I came here to rant about.  And people wonder why I don’t go to the movies anymore.

(P.S.  Marvel comics, I will never forgive what you did to the god Loki.  In print and on screen.  Do you know there is only one human on Midgard fit to embody Loki?)

Stan Lee can suck it.

One Response to “A Pox on Both Their Houses”

  1. loup Says:

    Bang with Bas as Loki. Why aren’t you a casting director?
    I don’t mind most of the comic book stuff for one viewing. Can be fun cause I go in expecting complete shite.

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