Breaking News: I Suck!

Warning: Long

Surprise, surprise! Back early from vacation. Guess why: we didn’t actually make it to Newfoundland. The reasons? It boils down to two simple ones.
1. I am a mental case
2. I am chickenshit


But you know what? That’s ok. I accept these facts about myself. I don’t like them, but I accept that they are true, and they always say the first step is admitting you have a problem. Mild insanity runs in my family, anyway (but none of them would ever admit it.)

Basically, I had a major anxiety attack about the flight, and couldn’t go through with it. Now, you have to understand that I have a major anxiety attack and come thisclose to bailing out every time we’ve ever had to fly anywhere. So why could I go through with those trips and not this one? Well, all those other flights were to the UK and I have a stronger desire to go there. And there were other mitigating factors that made matters worse —

1. Sleep deprivation. I hadn’t slept for two nights before, and everyone knows how that messes with your head.
2. This was not a direct flight. We would have had to stop and change planes, and to me, THE scariest stuff about flying is the waiting around, and the getting on board, and the taking off. I can’t do that twice in one day.
3. And the nail in the coffin was that when we got to our seats on the plane, what was directly in front of us but a woman traveling with a newborn AND a toddler.

Screw ‘dat. I just was not equipped to deal with ALL of that at once. So we got off. Do I feel remorse? Well, I feel bad if I inconvenienced anyone, and I feel bad if I let anyone down, but otherwise, no. The overwhelming sense of relief I felt when I got out of the plane made me know it was the right thing for me. Yeah, I would have liked to see Nfld, but I’m going to try to learn from this experience and what I’ve learned is that, in future, I am never going anywhere unless it is on a direct flight. Unfortunately that means there are some places I will just never see. I will learn to accept those limitations, and I will also know to try to get some psychoactive meds next time.

So enough dreary talk.

What we did instead was just prolong our stay in Toronto, and it was totally awesome! On Wed. night, my friend Jil from alt.support.childfree took us out to an incredible Vietnamese place for dinner. On Thursday, after the plane incident, we went to a park for a while and then after checking in to our hotel, we strolled around to some of our favorite places in downtown Toronto, like the St. Lawrence Market (aka Foodie Valhalla.) Friday we visited a museum that neither of us had been to, then we went to Greektown. I’d been there before, but BW hadn’t, and I wanted him to see it. It’s this amazing neighborhood with like 10 Greek restaurants per block, cools shops, and a beautiful residential section. You could eat a different gyro every day for 3 months there! (And yes Whistler, we found a Ma n’ Pop Greek pastry shop and bought…baklava.)

Besides all this we fit in the all-important stops at the Silver Snail comic shop and the almighty Lush store, without which no trip to Toronto could be complete. The pictures below are to taunt LOUPY. Muahahahaaaaaa! :)

Now we are gonna chill with an ‘at home’ vacation for the rest of the week. The airline gave us credit to fly with them again, so in the spring we hope to go to Nova Scotia because it’s a short, direct trip and it was runner-up destination for this vacation anyway.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.

2 Responses to “Breaking News: I Suck!”

  1. LOUP Says:

    I would be all kinds of jealous about your visit to LUSH … but I got a blue and gray kitchen this weekend!! = P
    Wait .. maybe I am jealous about LUSH … yep … Oh well.

  2. whistler Says:

    Wow! You’re back!! Until the other day, I had no clue about your intentions to go to the Maritimes.. *sob*

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