The Movie Studio Who Stole Thanksgiving

Oh my gawd, does this ever suck!!!

Return of the King: Extended Edition delayed

Auuuuugh!!! This is bad. Very bad. You see, I have a tradition in my small family. Every Thanksgiving, Whistler and his family come to our house for Tgiving dinner. And every year after dinner is cleaned up and my parents have gone home, we bust out a video projector and a big screen, and we settle in to relax with a movie Thanksgiving night. For the past two years, the movie of choice has been whichever LOTR extended-edition has come out that year. Year one it was Fellowship of the Ring. Last year it was The Two Towers. They’d always get released for sale in mid-November, just in time for the holiday. We had every reason to believe our tradition would continue with ROTK this year.

NOW what are we supposed to do?? Twiddle our thumbs all night?! Dang it, we have a tradition to uphold! It may not be the most long-standing tradition, but it’s our tradition, and by gawd, we like it! (Back me up on this, Whistler.) And besides that, I have a duty here. I have taken it upon myself to help educate Whistler about LOTR. My house is the only place he gets to see the extended cuts! How will he learn about everything he missed in the theatrical cut of ROTK? And now there’s little bitty Mo to think of as well. How will she develop properly if she isn’t carefully taught from a young age about the Balrogs and the Bagginses by her Aunt? She could be scarred for life! Won’t somebody think of the Children?!

Ok, I digress a bit, but I am serious about how upset I am. And what a lame excuse New Line gave! The cast and crew have been scattered and working on other projects for years, and that never stopped them releasing the other two DVDs on time. Feh. These people owe me a holiday!

3 Responses to “The Movie Studio Who Stole Thanksgiving”

  1. Cheri Says:

    Petey boy needs to quit fooling around with the monkey and finish the extended version of Return of the King.

  2. whistler Says:

    Omigoodnessgracious!! I think it’s a conspiracy to foil Thanksgiving traditions. I was hoping for another night before Tday hockey game followed by a
    post turkey day LOTR festival. The extended versions have helped me understand the books better, or as I have learned, what’s in the book that should have been
    in the movie. I know what we should do. We should shoot our own movie featuring the angst of a family deprived of viewing the extended version of ROTK.
    Once done, we’ll send it off to Petey boy. Mo could be one of the hobbits, she eats a lot and she’s really short.

  3. InfamousCow Says:

    One word. BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

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