All Quiet on the Crack Front

It’s been quiet lately. Too quiet.

I’m thoroughly confused. We’re a month into summer vacation, yet I’ve heard nary a peep from Crack Monkey. I catch the occasional glimpse of him through the fence, so I know that he’s home and hasn’t been shipped away to a special Summer Camp for Cognitively Incompetent Children. Maybe there’s a Day Camp version that he attends? Maybe his breeders found this blog and got a clue? Maybe he’s developed crippling allergies to the outdoors? Dare I hope that he is suffering from a rare, yet deadly disease??

I don’t have the answers, but my, has it been nice! The downside is that I’m too paranoid to enjoy it. I find it impossible to believe that a miracle has happened and he’s learned to behave. This is too good to last. It’s all probably just a scheme to lull me into a false sense of security, and any day now a massive new onslaught of sprog-propelled sonic devastation will be unleashed on our unwitting neighborhood. I’m probably jinxing the nice quiet just by writing this!

All I can do is stay crouched in my bunker and wait for the bombs to drop. But at least for now it’s a quiet bunker. Stay posted for more dispatches from the front lines of the War on Crack.

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