Quelle goalie! Quelle game! Quelle horror!

I really wanted to post this sooner, but we had a slight power outage here today from the howling winds.

Oh my, what a night of ups and downs last night!  We get to the hockey game with time to spare, sat in our (really quite good, I thought) seats, and oh my were the first period-and-a-half PAINFUL.  I mean just painfully boring to watch, bad playing…I don’t know anything about hockey, but I felt like I was watching a Jr. High team practice session. LAME.  It was making football seem really fun and engaging.  The only bright spot in it all was mon chere Marc Andre who was making awesome save after awesome save.  He totally “brung it,” as the kids say these days.

Anyway, I got so bored that during the second period I got up to walk around and buy some overpriced trinkets and while I was away from my seat the Pens scored and the momentum started to pick up.  Then the Other Guys scored, and from there on out it went 100% totally batshit crazy with both teams rushing around like rabid badgers trying to break the tie. (And Marc-Andre just kept on kicking ass, and finally Sid Crosby woke up and remembered ‘Oh yeah, I’m the world’s best hockey player’ and started to do some awesome stuff, but his teammates can never keep up with him.)  The game ended up going into overtime, the energy level got ratcheted up yet another notch, and finally it all ended with My Baby Sid saving the day and winning the game in the tie-breaking shootout!  *squeeee!*

But I’m not sure if that qualifies as the highlight of the night…..

Because all during that boring first period, we had another source of entertainment.  For seated in front of us was the most elegant, ravishing example of Pittsburgh Beauty (and of course, her lovely children.)  If selecting a Ms. Pittsburgh…nay, a whole Ms. Western Pennsylvania….was up to me, I would choose this gorgeous example of all the values and  grace that our region holds most dear.  She truly was the exemplar of…oh hell, my words can do no justice.  Behold this image!

Are you through swooning in delight yet?  Do you need smelling salts? I’ll let you collect yourselves for a minute before we zoom in on that gorgeous art with which she adorns her graceful form.  Ready?

Obviously the work of some Great Master!  A daring juxtaposition of such disparate elements…an Orthodox (?) cross, a Native American style sun, and a tropical fish… could only spring from the mind of a visionary genius! And look at the skill with which it was rendered!  Such talent! I am humbled.  And that delicate piece of fushia thong is exactly the frame that such a masterpiece deserves to set it off in its best light.  Rembrandt?  Ha!  A freaking amatuer!

*deep breath*  Seriously people.  There are reasons why tattooed people are looked upon with scorn and disdain, and why the assumption is made that we’re all mouth-breathing, meth-gulping, inbred trash.  The reason is THAT WOMAN.  For fuck’s sake people, let’s start a movement:  Ban Fugly Tattoos!  People for the Advancement of Tasteful Ink?  Something?  Anything?

Here now, you can cleanse your eyeballs with the balm of Marc Andre and a puppy dog!

4 Responses to “Quelle goalie! Quelle game! Quelle horror!”

  1. whistler Says:

    Oh man.

    I know seeing with my own eyes was bad enough, but the thoughts afterwards.

    Finding Nemo? Yeah, because she SAT ON HIM!!!!

  2. hapnor Says:

    Okay okay let me get this straight… we got the jebus-check, we got the “tribal” ersatz ink check AND the Finding Nemo thing? Whoa Plus Plus Plus, about the the placement (tranpstamp!) …need I say more? Someone needs to nuke western PA. (after those you love are relocated of course.) Oh and I forgot to gag over ill fitting undies and stretch pants….. is that a furlined jacket….. I am sooo wretching.

  3. Wendy Says:

    Elvis have mercy!

  4. Marci Says:

    I kept seeing Whistler tweeting about the tramp stamp. Lawdie!

Leave a Reply