Breeders Do The Damnedest Shit

Sunday BW had to study for a final, so even though I wasn’t feeling very well I decided to get out of his hair and go shopping. (And I had Filene’s coupons.)

It takes a long time to shop Filene’s thoroughly, so at one point I head up the escalator for a bathroom break. Preceding me into the Ladies’ is a pair of little girls…I’d guess they were 10, maybe 11, but it’s so hard to tell with sproggen these days. Both girls have their own cell phones. One is texting somebody, the other is chattering away. The talking one, from the “likes” and “yuhs” and general tone and content of her conversation, sounded 10 going on 21.

They go into the bathroom together, into the same stall, of course. (Girls. I’ll never understand ‘em. Didn’t get that shit in 6th grade, don’t get it now.) I’m in the next stall. They get a new call on the other one’s phone. This is what I overhear (emphasis mine):

“Um, hi!…Yuh, we’re shopping…we’re, like, *giggle* in the bathroom…yuh, we’re at the store…Mom gave us $200….huh?…oh, no, she gave us like $200 each…yuh…and $100 for lunch…”

Bloody fucking hell!! I’d already had a headache when I went into the bathroom, but about then my head just caved in from the pressure!

The insanity of 1. giving 10 year-old girls that much money to shop, and, 2. letting them run around with said money alone and unsupervised in a big crowded shopping area speaks for itself. The LUNCH is simply beyond the pale. I know the restaurants in that area and as an adult I couldn’t spend $50 on my lunch, even if I ordered 3 martinis with it! The hell?

Somehow I scrape the pieces of my skull back together, stick them under my hat, and go. FF to the Big Box Shoe Store. Clearance racks. Breeder With Sprog In Stroller is talking to Employee Stocking Shelf:

Employee: (looking at sprog) “My, what a precious one. Bet she’s a handful. What is she, about 20 months?

Breeder: “Oh no, she’s only 10 months!

WTF people! SAY “TWO YEARS”!! SAY “ONE YEAR”!!! Jeebus 2 or 4 months either way in the life of your sprog does not….DOES NOT, I don’t care WHAT you think…have that much bearing on its development that you need to be so specific. STOP with the “months” crap, breeders, nobody cares but you.

Some days it just doesn’t pay to leave the house.

4 Responses to “Breeders Do The Damnedest Shit”

  1. Marci Says:

    I couldn’t spend fifty bucks on lunch without alcohol. The only place over there that I could see spending a lot at would be Yokoso – the only sushi joint that ever gave me heartburn.

    And 400 bucks between two dippy girls to just blow? There are no words.

  2. LOUP Says:

    You should have conked them on the head and taken the money and ran! LOL

    I am going to start telling people I am 423 months old.

  3. Cameron Says:

    Hey! This is definitely not the right forum to respond but just thought I had to drop you a line to say how much I love the James Hetfield Hairwatch. Being a thirty something Britisher; lifelong, yet thoroughly disgruntled, Metallica fan; now firmly imbedded in a state school, English department; I can honestly say that NOTHING has made me laugh, and nod with agreement, as much as your awesome wit. More, please!

  4. kta Says:

    Ahhh, I’ve missed these posts. Takes me back to the crackmonkey days! Yes, I was a huge fan of the crackmonkey stories! Good times….hehehe
    And the girls in the store – ick!

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