Archive for April, 2004

Aural Sex

Friday, April 30th, 2004

Much to my great delight, the other day I found out that my man Sean Bean recorded an audiobook! It’s “King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table” by Benedict Flynn. Today was finally payday, so I downloaded it from I think it was intended for the 9 – 12 year old boy […]

Behold the Power of Cheese

Thursday, April 29th, 2004

Richard Cheese, that is. Richard is my new musical Diety of the moment. If you’ve never heard of him, his act is basically this: take current alterno-rock/Nu-metal/whiny white boy songs, and transform them into sleek, glistening, funny-as-hell Vegas lounge numbers. That could easily turn into a gets-old-fast gimmick, but Richard does it so well that […]

Harry Potter: The Beast That Ate Britain

Monday, April 26th, 2004

“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by…” Harry Potter?!

“Our Quest is at an End!”

Sunday, April 25th, 2004

Our quest for the GINGER ALTOIDS, that is! I’d heard of these, and had been searching high and low, to the point where I was beginning to doubt their existance. I’d heard you could only buy them at Trader Joe’s (which we do not have in this stupid area), then I saw them on eBay, […]

Boy Wonder Status Report

Friday, April 23rd, 2004

Some folks have been asking me how work is proceeding on the Wonder Cycle. Well, right now it’s not proceeding very much. BW still needs to buy a bunch of little parts before he can really get down to work. For the time being, he has been going up to New Castle just to clean […]

Protein + Pep = Tasty

Thursday, April 22nd, 2004

For lack of anything better to write, today I’m gonna share a recipe with you. I call it a ‘Soyaccino’ and it’s my favorite summer time breakfast drink. It’s like a Starbucks Frappucino, but with more nutrition and less sugar.

A Walk in the…Pasture?

Tuesday, April 20th, 2004

A great many people in my neighborhood are very,very,very obsessed with the appearance of their yards. So much so that they hire professionals to do the work for them, and every year at this time, the area is swarming with landscaping trucks, and flunkies spreading mulch and fertilizer over everything. So that what looks like […]

Run Like Hell

Monday, April 19th, 2004

Well, today is the big day of the Boston Marathon. Here’s hoping Donal does ok and raises lots of money. (Wouldn’t it suck to go through all the trouble of being in a marathon and NOT raise a lot of money?!) I imagine there’s still time left to make a donation. C’mon, look at that […]

The Sexiest Birthday Man Alive!

Saturday, April 17th, 2004

That’s right, I’m talking about Sean Bean!

And So It Begins

Friday, April 16th, 2004

My neighbor decided to mow his lawn for the first time this season. He’s outside mowing as I type. Now, in the Crack household, mowing the lawn is a complicated ritual with multiple facets. First he gets out the mower and tries a few times before it will start. Meanwhile his dog doesn’t like the […]

At The Movies?

Wednesday, April 14th, 2004

I was just checking out the imdb, and there is such a movie drought right now. Nothing coming out until May, when I plan to see Troy a couple dozen times. But until then, diddly. Actually, there are a few movies in theaters right now that I’d like to see. Namely, The Ladykillers, and Eternal […]

Support Our Cutie-Pie

Monday, April 12th, 2004

Hey all, remember when I mentioned that Donal Logue had been Jimmy the Cabdriver in those skits on MTV back in the day? Well, it turns out that Donal is temporarily resurrecting the character of Jimmy. On April 19, “Jimmy McBride” will be running the Boston Marathon as a fund-raising stunt for an organization called […]

Is April Over Yet?

Sunday, April 11th, 2004

Some poet once said that “April is the cruelest month.” Man, were they right. Yesterday, me and Boy Wonder had to travel north for my Uncle Jimmy’s funeral, which was pretty rough. Then no sooner do I get home, but I check my email and I find out that Weird Al Yankovic’s parents both died […]

But You Can’t Ignore my Techno

Friday, April 9th, 2004

I don’t talk about music often, but I felt I just had to share a recommendation for this “new” techno “band” I’ve recently discovered. It’s called Fad Gadget, and the quotes back there are because it’s not really a band, just one mad genius named Frank Tovey, and it’s not new. Gadget was from the […]

Oh Freakin’ Great

Thursday, April 8th, 2004

Crack Monkey is home today! It’s a Thursday! What happened to school? I think he goes to a Catholic school, but so did I, and I don’t recall ever getting the Thursday before Easter off. That means he’ll probably be at home through Monday. Aaaauuugh! Why can’t they have family in another country? It’s a […]

So long, Chutta

Thursday, April 8th, 2004

Sad news. My Uncle Jimmy died yesterday morning, after a long battle with many different ailments, including diabetes and kidney failure. Jimmy was my dad’s last remaining sibling, and his passing will leave a void. In healthier times, he was a big, silver-haired, raspy-voiced smooth-talker. It was like having a really friendly movie Mafia don […]

Get ‘Em While They’re Hotties

Wednesday, April 7th, 2004

Just a quick heads-up to say that I’ve updated my Picture Pages. I put in a folder of good-quality scans of the new David Bowie Hilfiger ads (yeah, I know it’s sort of wrong for Dave to shill for Tommy, but I just try to look at it as “Bowie pics! Cheap!!”), and I’ve added […]

See Y’all In Church

Monday, April 5th, 2004

If movie-watching was a religion, today surely would be a high holy day. April 5th is the birthday of Gregory Peck, Spencer Tracy, AND Bette Davis! How is that even possible? It boggles the mind. I stand in such awe of this group, I’m tounge-tied. Everything I have to say about Gregory Peck, I’ve already […]

Don’t Hate Him Because He’s Beautiful

Saturday, April 3rd, 2004

Call him a diva, call him washed-up, call him a media whore (heck, he’s been on even more VH1 clip shows than Donal Logue), even call him “Sebitchin”, but one thing you can never call Sebastian Bach is “untalented.” The man has the vocal power and sound of an avenging angel, with divine looks and […]

And the Hits Just Keep on Comin’…

Friday, April 2nd, 2004

Ok, who’s tired of birthdays? I think I’m getting there, but hang on, we’ve just got a few more days left of this birthday marathon. Thank gawd. Anyway, today is my Mom’s birthday! But she took today off work (smart lady), so she probably won’t even see this. If you’re reading this, Mom, I hope […]